Official blog of Chris Carlisle… obviously

(Okay, maybe it does abbreviate well)

New week! New Switch! A blog as vacant as Paris Hilton’s stare after being asked a physics question!

Without further ado, here’s this week’s offering of The Dimmer Switch:

I Survived The Great Power Outage of 2008

As I mentioned last week, I do intend to blog on a more regular basis, just not sure when that will be starting. Along with the usual rigmarole I have going on, I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment with the new job (I’ve been there five months, is it still new?) plus I’m working on setting up a new website for my church. Besides my own, I’ve done three other websites for local businesses (okay, I was related to the owner on two of them), so when the church decided to upgrade their web presence I was quickly drafted. Granted, my web-building skills are pedestrian at best, but for what the church is wanting to do I think it’s within my capabilities to get it done. It’s pro bono web design, not that I mind doing it, it’s just a little time consuming.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this week’s offering. I’ll see you in a week, if not sooner.

(No, it doesn’t abbreviate well)

For Week 3 of Project 52, The Dimmer Switch turns its focus on Mother’s Day. More specifically, guys and our bungling attempts at buying gifts.

The Guys’ Guide to Mother’s Day Gift Do’s and Don’ts

Used to be that the blog received more traffic so I used these notifications to siphon off traffic to my vanity project. Since traffic to The Dimmer Switch now eclipses blog traffic by a factor of four, perhaps I should do the opposite and try to direct more people here (hmmm, just realized I don’t have a link to the blog on the Switch. I should fix that.) Either way I probably should start blogging on a more regular basis. This place is looking rather unkept.

Happy first of May everyone! And what better way to welcome the start of a new month than go read this week’s offering of The Dimmer Switch? If there is a better way I can’t think of one.

I can live without the glove compartment

2 down, 50 more to go. We’re in the homestretch!

I have started to notice one benefit of posting on a regular schedule, feedback! Although technically I didn’t start this project until April 17th I have been publishing rather consistently since February, posting 16 times over the last 14 weeks. During this timeframe I’ve received more emails from readers (both old and new) than I ever have. It was good to hear from all of you, and please know that I really appreciate that you’ve taken the time to send me an email and I’ll do my best to respond to your messages. Most of all, thanks for reading.

Sunday I took my daughter to BotCon. She’s not big into Transformers (to be totally honest I’m not what you’d call a diehard fan either), but she enjoyed the movie and was as curious as I was to see what the convention was all about. So we rolled out around noon on Sunday to check out the show.

This was just outside the door. I remember seeing this prop in the lobby of the megagoogleplex cinemas last summer as it counted down the days until the premiere of Transformers the Movie.

Just inside the door? Wall to wall geeks!


Yeah, these are my people. I consider myself a freelance geek as I tend to spread my geekiness across multiple realms rather than invest all of my time and energy into becoming fully versed in just one or two.

This was a random photo from one of the display cases. I took more, but this is the only one that came out halfway decent. Yes, I suck at photography.

In the hallway outside of the convention there were tables set up for autographs. Here’s Tara Strong, the voice of Sari on Transformers animated either in mid-sentence or mid-sneeze:

My daughter threw me in front of the bus while getting her autograph. When asked if she watched the cartoon show, my daughter said, “yes, but my Dad hates it.” Exact word for word quote. Technically she wasn’t lying (I do hate the show), and I received a rather icy stare from Ms. Strong as a result. I tried to smooth things over by making a humorous comment about not being the target audience, but the damage was done.

Here’s Bumper Robinson, the voice of Bumblebee on Transformers animated. If you have trouble finding him in this picture, he’s the guy under the hat:

David Kaye, voice of Optimus Prime on Transformers animated, suffering from Peter Cullen envy.

Here’s one of the few people we saw dressed in costumes at the convention. Much to my surprise, all of the costumed fans were women. Also to my surprise, there were women there. Who knew?

This first one is dressed as Wheeljack (I was quite impressed with myself that I remembered that name):

Another fan dressed as Ratchet. Upon closer inspection, the costume looked to be fashioned out of multiple styrofoam coolers.

Of the fan costumes, this young lady was probably the most popular:

Her cop outfit had the Decepticon logo along with the slogan “to punish and enslave”, which was written on the side of Barricade, aka the cop car from the Transformers movie. I imagine she grew quite tired of guys asking her if her handcuffs were real (yes, they were).

Probably the coolest part of our time at the convention was at the play area, where they had an area cordoned off for kids to play with many of the Transformer toys. My daughter picked up one of the larger Starscream toys and between the two of us we managed to get him transformed from robot to jet form (in my defense, I’ve been out of practice for the last 20 years). Upon completion, the person in charge of the area just gave it to her! He fished out a few of the other pieces which went with him and she walked out of there with a huge souvenir. Here he is as a jet:


(the banana is there for size reference)

And here he is in robot form:


(again, the banana is for size reference)

She kept calling him Skyscreamer or Optimus Prime (blasphemy!), something even a casual fan would not stand for. I coached her up on the drive home. (When we got home I Googled the toy to get a reference on the retail value. He’s not cheap.)

She did get one other free toy as we were walking out, a little cellphone (not a working phone) called Wiretap V20:


Although most of the convention was just booths set up for collectors to buy/sell/trade their collectibles, it was still a fun time for us. Both of my daughters have shown aptitude in transforming Starscream from jet to robot and vice versa, but I occasionally have to correct them on his name (yes, it’s a pet peeve).

Guess where I’m going this weekend?

BotCon!

I’ve been to a few conventions for my various jobs, but never one like this. I’m not a die hard fan, although I did enjoy the movie and was an avid fan of the toys/cartoon when I was growing up (the death of Optimus Prime in the 1985 Transformers movie was a traumatic experience for me). My reasons for going are a.) it’s not far from home, and b.) it’s reasonably priced.

I plan on taking the camera just in case there are any die hard fans in costumes or heated geekfights over the movie vs. cartoon mythos. I’m not sure what Transformer fans are called, but I hope for their sake they don’t call themselves “Trannies”.

The first in a series of fifty two weekly humor columns is up over at The Dimmer Switch:

Paths to Internet Fame

Not exactly the kick-off I was aiming for. For everyone’s sake, I hope the next 51 are much better.

So, this is my last week for the next year to slack off on publishing the Dimmer Switch. So to kick off Project 52 (yes, that’s what I’m calling it now), here’s a reprint of an earlier column with a few tweaks to keep things current. It’s one of the first things I’d written that I’d published on the internet, and I feel that it’s quite relevant to the project I am undertaking:

Dreaming of Life on the Fringe

Starting next Thursday you’ll see nothing but new stuff published over at The Dimmer Switch up through April 16, 2009. That’s 52 weeks, 52 columns, 52 deadlines that I will probably flirt with missing on more than one occasion. I hope you’ll tag along; it should be a fun ride.

A couple days back I requested that The Dimmer Switch be added to the humor category of Alltop. I wasn’t too hopeful; after all I don’t get as much traffic as The Onion, Cracked, or some of the other sites listed in the category. But lo’ and behold, I received an email yesterday from them stating that my site was going to be listed at Alltop.

I’m still a bit surprised they took me. Perhaps Jenny pulled some strings with Guy Kawasaki to get me listed. Apparently they’re like this (holds up crossed fingers indicating how tight they are w/ each other). If that’s the case, thanks Jen, I owe you a sandwich. Just tell me where to mail it.

You can find me on the humor tab. Don’t see me? Keep scrolling. Down, down, a bit further, still a bit further, almost there, a bit more, there I am! Yes, I realize that I’m at the very bottom of the page, and for some inexplicable reason I find that to be absolutely hilarious.

Although there are benefits to being at the bottom; I figure that it’s much better than getting lost in the middle.

First up, a Tuesday offering of The Dimmer Switch:

Color Me Awesome!

Second, the announcement: I am taking on a project. Well, not so much a project as it is a challenge to myself. The Dimmer Switch was originally designed to be a weekly humor column, but in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever gone longer than one month without missing my self imposed deadline. I’ve tried many things to help myself meet my weekly publish date, including moving the date multiple times (originally it was Sunday), but most of these changes were made in midstream as a way to allow myself more time. Basically, a deadline isn’t a deadline unless you hold yourself to it.

So I’ve decided to borrow a page from Jonathan Coulton’s Thing a Week project (borrow? More like copy directly from his paper). For those unfamiliar with Mr. Coulton’s project, he undertook the task of recording 52 songs (some original, some remixes, some remakes) over the course of a year. Using his project as inspiration, my goal for the next year is to publish a weekly humor column every week. It will be completed and available to read by 7am Thursday morning.

52 weeks, 52 Thursdays, 52 humor columns. I haven’t titled the project yet, though I’m leaning towards either Project 52 or “Thing a Week: Redux” (the second only with Mr. Coulton’s approval as I don’t want to infringe on his intellectual property). My objectives are to prove to myself and prospective editors that I can produce creative, humorous content on a steady basis, to increase my audience and to finally get paid to do this.

I also plan to take a more aggressive strategy towards publishing and syndication. I’ve come to realize over the past 3 years that the idea of publishing on the internet and hoping of finally getting “discovered” is a lot like throwing your mail into the air and entrusting the wind to deliver it for you. It works on rare occasions, but there has to be a better way.

The project will technically start next Thursday, although I will be publishing something this week. It’s an updated version of one of the first things I ever wrote so it’s technically not new, but it felt like a good piece to kick off the project.

For those placing bets, the over/under on when I will miss a deadline is currently set at 6 weeks. Any takers?

Today I have what would’ve been last Thursday’s offering of The Dimmer Switch had I finished it on time. I really wanted to have it ready by Thursday of last week, but I was unable to complete it due to (spins Wheel of Blame) the Germans. So show your support by reading the following article and help us can the Kaiser, or something like that:

Who are you and why are you handing me spinach?

Another Dimmer Switch column will be available on Thursday, assuming there is no further interference by either the Germans or Ottoman Empire. Thursday’s offering will include an announcement of sorts (nothing big, at least not yet), so here’s hoping there will be no further aggressive actions perpetruated by the Central Powers of WWI.

::UPDATE:: Thursdays announcement and offering of the Dimmer Switch are delayed (c’mon, who didn’t see that coming?). To make up for my poor time management skills, there will be a Tuesday offering and a Thursday offering next week (pinky swear and all that).

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